Scrolling Through Sorrow
How to Honor Your Empathy Without Becoming Overwhelmed
I have a bad habit I know I need to work on: I scroll on social media far too often. Most of the time, it feels like a harmless escape—a fun little break from my day or a way to wind down in the evening. I might stumble across a new recipe I want to try, discover budgeting hacks to help me reach my goals, or enjoy cute dog videos. But sometimes, my social media scrolling brings me face-to-face with the worst moments of someone else’s life. Last week, it was the latter.
Witnessing Tragedy in a Connected World
We live in a more connected world than ever before. When tragedy strikes—whether it’s the wrath of Mother Nature, a school shooting, or the devastating realities of war—it can feel as if we’re in the midst of the experience, even from miles away.
Last week, it wasn’t a traditional news article that alerted me to the wildfires in the greater Los Angeles area but rather a video from Spencer Pratt (best known for his time on MTV’s The Hills). He spoke about the fires approaching his home and forcing his family to evacuate. Hours later, he shared devastating news: both his family’s home and his parents’ homes were gone. I was horrified. The thought of losing your home to a fire is terrifying, but to lose your entire community—thousands of homes, schools, and businesses—is unfathomable.
In the days that followed, I couldn’t stop checking social media for updates from those in Los Angeles who were experiencing these horrors firsthand.
This isn’t the first time I’ve gone down a rabbit hole like this, tracking a disaster as it unfolds. In September, I felt similar fear and anxiety as I watched people prepare for Hurricane Helene and face its aftermath, especially the devastation to those living in Asheville, North Carolina. And in the summer of 2023, I remember the heartbreak of seeing Maui ravaged by wildfires. It feels like these events are never ending.
Navigating the Trap of Doomscrolling
Each time a major tragedy or natural disaster strikes, like the LA wildfires, I find myself consumed by the updates, with my nervous system paying the price. For highly sensitive or empathetic people, the urge to seek out every detail of what’s happening can feel almost impossible to resist.
But what is this phenomenon, exactly? According to the dictionary (yes, it’s officially recognized!), doomscrolling means “to spend excessive time online scrolling through news or other content that makes one feel sad, anxious, angry, etc.”
Whether it’s following updates about Spencer and Heidi Pratt’s family, watching a pet parent reunite with their dog that survived the fire, or hearing about an elderly man who lost everything—I found myself drowning in sadness. In some ways, my endless scrolling felt like a way to connect—to bear witness to their grief. But the more I scrolled, the more overwhelmed and dysregulated I became.
Caring Without Crumbling
I think it’s incredible that social media connects us and opens our eyes to the experiences of people all around the world. It wouldn’t feel right to expect social media to be a constant stream of positivity—that’s not life. Witnessing others’ pain helps us step up to help or work toward meaningful change.
But it’s equally important to recognize the toll doomscrolling can take on those of us who feel it deeply. After a few days of processing the shock and grief for those living through what may be the most traumatic experience of their lives, I decided it was time to step back, take care of myself, and regroup. Here’s how I’ve been doing that:
Limiting time on social media. While I haven’t cut myself off completely, I’ve set boundaries. I still check TikTok and Instagram to stay informed, but I’ve reduced the time I spend on these apps. Instead of endlessly scrolling, I pick up a book, listen to a podcast, or find other ways to engage my mind more positively.
Honoring the helpers among the chaos. Stories of people stepping up during dark times give me hope. From someone donating their collection of plush toys to kids who lost everything, to firefighters traveling from all over the world to lend a hand, or GoFundMe campaigns helping families rebuild—it’s inspiring. These stories remind me there’s good in the world and encourage me to ask, “How can I be a helper?”
Turning to self-care practices. Journaling has been my anchor, helping me process my emotions and organize my thoughts for this post. I’ve also leaned into meditation, breathwork, and even completing a puzzle with my mom. At times, it feels selfish to focus on myself, but self-care is essential, especially when anxiety or fear is spiking. If I allow myself to be consumed by fear, I can’t help those I care about. Instead, I focus on deep breaths, movement at the gym, and getting restful sleep.
Times like these, while deeply sad, also serve as a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit, even in the darkest hours. As I mentioned, I’ve been following Heidi and Spencer as they’ve shared their vulnerability and current reality with all of us online. Recently, Heidi posted a video where she surprised her son with a gift from the tooth fairy. As they were evacuating their home, she didn’t have much time to grab things—but somehow, she managed to take her son’s tooth fairy box. Watching her little boy excitedly hug his last connection to his home, feeling a sense of joy and magic amid the chaos, was truly beautiful. That simple, yet profound act of love amidst devastation brought me to tears, reminding me that even in the face of immense loss, there can still be connection, comfort, and beauty.
Now, Heidi’s 15-year-old pop album is topping the charts as fans rally around her family. In witnessing their strength and vulnerability, we’re reminded that, even in the face of deep sorrow, we all have the power to rise again—just like a phoenix. Heidi and Spencer are just one story among thousands that showcase the resilience of people surrounded by love and community.
If you’ve been doomscrolling like I have, I hope you’re able to honor your own limits and prioritize self-care. Empathy is a strength, but we can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of ourselves is how we can best support those who need us.
If you’re looking for ways to support those impacted by the fires, this article offers a helpful guide. Whether you donate to a family on GoFundMe or choose from these vetted organizations, your contribution can make a difference. Here are some of the options recommended by NBC News:
Thank you for sharing vetted resources on ways to help those impacted 🤍